Lack of support from 20 Relationship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore

20 Relationship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore

Full Story

shutterstock

20 Relationship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore

During the beginning stages of a relationship, it is common to be blinded by lust and overlook red flags. It’s important to train your mind to recognize the warning signs. “Your subconscious can see things you cannot see, it feels things you cannot feel or describe; so listen to your inner instinct,” Post Relationship Coach Mick Owar says. “Follow your gut, always.”

*Related: Surprising Ways Technology Has Changed Relationships

Relationships can be tough, they take hard work; you may be doing everything that you can to keep it in tact but if your partner is not participating, and you’re doing all the work, it may be time to re-evaluate your situation.

shutterstock

When you're doing all of the work

Does your partner really want to be in a relationship? “If you're the only one communicating, planning dates, or putting forth any real effort in hopes to see the relationship grow, you may be the only one who genuinely wants the relationship,” says Noni Ayana, M.Ed. Relationship Expert and Principal Consultant at E.R.I.S. LLC Consulting.

shutterstock

Lack of support

“Many of us are climbing the corporate ladder, returning to school, changing careers, or becoming new entrepreneurs,” Ayana says. “If your partner doesn't believe in what you're doing, this may hinder your personal and professional progress, and also may cause your partner to resent you; especially if your partner is experiencing difficulty achieving their own goals.”

shutterstock

Lack of relationship investment

“If your partner is not fully invested in your relationship, they are likely to be on a different page, and may have something else in mind,” Ayana says. “Be sure to communicate your relationship goals to prevent wasting valuable time with someone that could care less.”

shutterstock

The way you talk to others about your relationship

“If you’re still able to say good things to others about your partner – especially if you’re telling the story of how you met – it’s a good sign that there’s enough love there to overcome obstacles and difficulties,” says Cathryn Mora, Personal & Relationship Coach. “As soon as your memories are predominantly bad, it’s not a great sign for things to come.”

shutterstock

Partner is keeping their phone attached to themselves

If your partner always has his or her phone in their hand, and they never leave it around the house to be seen, this could be a sign of infidelity. “Any time your partner changes their behavior, there is a reason,” says Dr. Karen Phillip Sociologist, Relationship Authority. Receiving secret messages or phone calls, deleting messages or phone numbers that have been received, or taking calls privately can all be Red Flag signals, she adds.

shutterstock

Finding fault in all you do

This is a sign of relationship frustration and disconnect. “If our once tolerant and loving partner suddenly is finding fault in everything we do, this can be a Red Flag that things are not happy or safe in the relationship,” Dr. Phillip says. Frustrations ignored can spiral into major issues, she says. “Talk about why there is this increased intolerance and discuss ways to manage or adjust behaviors to secure the happiness of both partners.”

shutterstock

Doing more activities alone

If your partner is more focused on alone time and would rather not “couple” with you, this could be a sign that your relationship is coming to an end. It’s a “flag they are setting up for their life independently and not with you an active participant,” Dr. Phillip says.

shutterstock

Lack of enthusiasm in the relationship

“To me, a big change in overall behavior without an obvious reason would suggest a lack of enthusiasm in the relationship,” says Mick Owar, Post Relationship Coach. “They may be trying to distract themselves from their unhappiness within the relationship or they could be preparing themselves for the next thing.” Whatever it may be, there is nothing better than being upfront and honest with yourself and your partner, he adds. “If they do lose enthusiasm about being together and happy, what do you think would be the best move forward for the both of you?”

shutterstock

Alarm bells ringing inside you – Intuition

“Speaking from hindsight after trying to ignore it on two separate occasions for two major life events, your intuition will kick your ass up and down the street trying to tell you somethings not quite right,” Owar says. “For me, it was going crazy, both life events, trying to say ‘you really need to do something about what’s happening!’ I ignored it, and later got the ‘I told you so!’ from my own subconsciousness.” That being said, your subconscious can see things you cannot see, and it feels things you cannot feel or describe – listen to your inner instinct.

shutterstock

Airey Fairy about their day

“This is where your intuition picks up the subtle hints that your partner is unable to hide from the power of your subconsciousness,” Owar says. “Unless they've thought out every detail of the ‘story of their day,’ they're going to be a little unsure of what they did and try fill it in on the fly and without actually knowing they're full of it, you'll just know.”

shutterstock

Constant unhappiness

If your partner has been falling into a pit of despair, chances are their life needs a bit of a shakeup. “They may have been laid off and unable to find new work, but this could also be a deeper sense of unhappiness which is not conducive to being liked by potential employers as a good prospective,” Owar explains. “This is a good opportunity to have a real heart to heart talk and try find out the cause of their unhappiness.” Owar says, “without being an advocate for everybody to break up, this may be the only way forward for them – to fall and find their own way back up.”

shutterstock

Eye rolling

“If you find yourself rolling your eyes when your partner speaks you are showing signs of contempt,” Sexuality and Media Specialist, Relationships Therapist, and Sexologist at Gold Coast Sexology, Kerrin Bradfield, says. “This occurs when we believe we are superior to our partner and we disrespect them. Contempt conveys disgust which is toxic to a relationship.”

thinkstock

Keeping track of what your partner has done for you

“This is called transactional thinking or emotional accounting,” Bradfield says. “Keeping a tally of what your partner owes you in terms of affection or actions is a sign that your relationship is in trouble.”

thinkstock

More negativity than positivity in conflict

“This may sound like a no-brainer; however, even good relationships have conflict and negativity,” Bradfield says. “The difference is the ratio of positive interactions to negative ones.” Not being able to manage conflict in a relationship with humor, respect, and empathy is a sign your relationship is in trouble, Bradfield adds.

thinkstock

Your partner makes you feel inferior

“A partner who constantly corrects you, speaks for you in public settings, or frequently cuts you off while you’re speaking can gradually reduce your self-esteem or self-worth,” Takeesha Roland-Jenkins, MS, professional consultant for the Between Us Clinic, says.

thinkstock

Physical and/or verbal abuse

“Being hit, punched, kicked, shoved, or forcibly restrained are signs of abuse which indicate that the person engaging in this behavior needs immediate intervention (e.g., anger management therapy),” Roland-Jenkins says. “Furthermore, verbal abuse can be just as harmful as physical abuse, and it often entails being called inappropriate names, consistently being insulted by your partner, or emotional intimidation.” These are strong indications that the relationship should end before the abuse escalates to a life-threatening situation, she adds.

shutterstock

Frequent disagreements about finances

“If you begin to argue with your partner about finances during the beginning of your relationship, this is an issue that immediately needs to be addressed,” Roland-Jenkins says. “If it is not resolved early on, it will more than likely continue and lead to the end of the relationship.”

shutterstock

Communication problems

“Controlling behavior can also lead to communication problems, especially when individuals who are being subjected to the controlling behavior feel like they cannot express their true feelings or discuss difficult topics in a productive way with their partners,” Roland-Jenkins says. “Over time, people who experience ongoing communication problems may begin to feel like they have lost their personal identity and usually end the relationship.”

shutterstock

Refusing to apologize

“Apologizing means you are willing to admit when you are wrong and can resolve conflicts in a mature manner,” Roland-Jenkins says. “However, if a person is unable to apologize, it could indicate that this individual does not truly consider your feelings or how the conflict may be affecting you emotionally.”

shutterstock

A wandering eye

“A partner who consistently looks at, flirts with, or makes suggestive comments about other people is not only showing signs of disrespect in your relationship, but is also displaying behavior that signals potential unfaithfulness,” Roland-Jenkins says.

20 Relationship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore