16 Things to Never Post About Your Relationship on Social Media from 16 Things to Never Post About Your Relationship on Social Media
16 Things to Never Post About Your Relationship on Social Media
Always ask first or just simply refrain from posting about your relationship in general. We get that you want the world to know how amazing your significant other is, and that’s perfectly fine, but when you start posting too much and filling up your newsfeed with nonsense, don’t be surprised if you start to lose a few followers.
Your four month/ eight month/ 221-day anniversary
“Posting these ‘milestones’ to the cyber world makes it look like you’re trying to prove to others how strong or long lasting your relationship is, rather than just enjoying it,” writer, editor and gender studies major Rochelle Scarlett, says. “One year, two years, ten years- sure, go wild! But why would Barbra from year 11 Biology care that it’s 96 days since your first kiss? Or your cousin’s new wife care about your four months together? Prove to your partner how strong you are, not them.”
Inappropriate photos in bed
“It’s the baffling image that circulates social media time and time again – the girl pulling the sheet up to cover herself while her bloke lies there grinning, smugly, Scarlett says. “Do you want us to congratulate you? Ask you how it was? It’s like inviting 950 acquaintances into your bedroom after you’ve just done it for a high five.” This is just a definite no on so many levels, she adds.
Expensive presents and gifts
“Posting things like this shouts to your followers ‘look how worthwhile I am, my partner thinks I’m worth this amount of money, I’m special’. And trust me, that kind of showing off does not come well received,” Scarlett says. “You wouldn’t flaunt your bank statement online, would you? This kind of behavior often stems from insecurity in the relationship, but that reassurance needs to be found from your partner, not your friends online.”
The fight you’ve just had
The reality is that most fights we have with our partner we get over. “Of course, when it’s happening it seems like the worst thing in the world, but DO NOT post this online,” Scarlett says. “Not only are you letting every single person you’ve ever connected with know the intimate details of your relationship, you are causing them to unconsciously form a negative image of your partner in their minds, even if they haven’t met them.” For the sake of your relationship and partner’s privacy, do not do this, she adds.
“The abundance of or lack thereof and anything in between is not appropriate fodder for social media. Sex for most couples is a place of intimacy, security and trust,” Love & Relationship coach Jessica Elizabeth Opert, says. “Once we place that in the public realm, we lose the privacy that intimacy requires to exist. Beyond that, social media is a very open source for companies to do research on job candidates, posting this type of highly personal information can end up in prospective employer’s hands.”
Frustration towards your partner
“Individuals in relationships need somewhere to vent, to take the lid off the pressure cooker, especially after a big fight. Choosing social media as your outlet, opens up you and your relationship to public opinion and judgement,” Opert says. “It also can create a dynamic of people (family and mutual friends) taking sides that, even once the argument is resolved between you two, can carry over into your interactions with these people.”
Revealing photos of your partner without consent
“Without consent, it’s definitely a big no no, even if you 'think' it’s not that revealing, they should have the ultimate say on how much is too much,” Opert says. “Even with consent, I would urge couples to think about how widely these images can be broadcasted on social media i.e. current [and] prospective employers, sexual criminals, your dear 99-year-old Aunt Betty... she can't unsee that, ever.”
Social media grace period: Don't flaunt
“If your relationship is new, avoid posting your couple-photos on social media altogether,” says Dia Hicks, relationship expert and founder and CEO of SwaggerScan. If you have to ask why, then you've probably never been in a relationship that was short lived. “So, unless you've got an axe to grind with a cheating ex who will see that you've moved on with his best friend (which I don't recommend), flaunting a new relationship on your timeline will draw critics if things don't work out between you two.” TIP: Before posting that couple-photo of you and your new mate graphically infused into a wine glass, give your new relationship at least 1 month, he adds.
Posts regarding an upcoming trip or vacation
“This kind of information posted on the internet can be valuable information to those with malicious intent,” Hicks says. “Burglars (or that unstable ex's of yours) can easily see from your 'couple-post' that you and your mate are leaving for your romantic getaway to Jamaica this upcoming weekend which renders this notion very dangerous.” TIP: You can post all of your blissful photos/videos of your exotic vacation together once you've returned home; it’s better to be safe than sorry, he adds.
Photos of whereabouts while on a trip or vacation
“Even as you vacate, you should avoid tipping off those with a malicious intent by posting your coordinance to social media,” Hicks says. “For example, burglars (or an unstable ex) can view your notifications on your social media account and see that you and your mate, currently checked into the beautiful Hilton hotel on the Hawaii islands.” At this point you’re too far away to return home, which gives the burglar time to invade your home. Tip: Before heading for Hawaii, you should consider turning off all notifications on “the soesh,” he adds.
Posts or photos of your partner’s friends or coworkers
“If you've met your mate's coworkers or have been to their company Christmas party, avoid posting information or photos that may jeopardize their employment,” Hicks says. “Politicians, pro athletes and executives of Fortune 500 businesses have all suffered the consequences and embarrassment caused by the unsavory social media activities of their significant other.” For more information on dating and social media, click here.
Photos of your partner’s child/children without approval
“If your mate has a child or children from a previous relationship you must avoid posting photos of their children without approval from the other parent,” Hicks says. “Avoiding this important step before posting these kinds of photos can lead to messy circumstances. As innocent as your intentions may be, posting photos of you, your mate and the child/children your mate conceived with someone else can be misperceived by that other person and cause conflict.”
Don’t post about your breakup
“Avoid posting breakups or updating your relationship status even when you're sure it's over,” Hicks says. “Relationships can have a few twists and turns and breakups can turn into makeups with time.” Tip: Give it a few weeks before the status makeover, he adds.
Don’t post text messages
“People not only post what has been said but now there are ex partners posting screenshots of conversations of what has been said about them or family members,” Certified Life Coach John Musumeci, says. “It all comes down to respecting the other person’s privacy.”
Don’t put down your ex-partner’s new partner
“For whatever reason you have separated from your ex-partner, there is no need to start dragging someone else into the social media banter that is going on between you and your ex-partner,” Musumeci says. “Especially if they have not been part of your separation.”
Stop “letting everyone on social media know what is happening with your finances during your split,” Musumeci says. “If you are not getting your way with what is happening, don’t let people know you have been hard done by.” This is a very private matter and, for sure, your audience is not going to give you feedback on this matter, he adds.