The Last Lance Article Ever Written

And what South Park says about the fallen cycling king
Staff Writer

Now that seemingly all possible details have come out about the Lance Armstrong doping saga, The Onion has reported what we all knew was inevitable—that now, there is no reason to write about cycling...ever again.  

AIGLE, SWITZERLAND —In the wake of overwhelming allegations that he engaged in illegal doping throughout the course of his professional career, cyclist Lance Armstrong was stripped of his seven Tour de France titles Monday, effectively making this article the last story ever written about the sport of cycling.

This one, right here, sources confirmed.

But, that apparently does not count TV references. Not to be outdone, South Park is taking aim at LIVEstrong and Lance on Wednesday night. According to the show:

Rocked by the recent news of drug use by a beloved icon, the world is left feeling lost and betrayed. The boys, join with the rest of the nation, and remove their yellow wristbands. Everyone is on board, except for Stan, who just can’t seem to cut off his bracelet.

And if you didn't catch it, you won't want to miss Lance getting skewered last week on "The Daily Show."


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